Tone = Reaction

"This one story I've never told before. Not to anyone. Not to my parents, not to my brother or sister, not even to my wife. To go into it, I've always thought would only cause embarrassment for all of us, a sudden need to be elsewhere, which is the natural response to a confession. Even now, I'll admit,  the story makes me squirm." (p. 37)

As a reminder, this is the chapter in which O'Brien discusses his running from the draft. The tone is much different in this story than it is in most of the other chapters. As O'Brien is speaking about himself, his tone seems to be more humble, and to me it also seems to beg forgiveness while refusing to apologize for what he did. In a way, it is difficult to explain exactly what emotion I feel is expressed in his tone. His description and imagery express that this is one memory that has not and will not leave his mind, and from this one can take a tone of bitter-sweetness. In the sentence above, it is true that O'Brien has a tone of embarrassment about telling his story, but I think he also expresses longing to cleanse it from his system. In such a way, one is led into the chapter with ears more open to hearing what is to be said. No excuses are made, which makes understanding a natural response to the story. I think it is interesting how the author is able to use his tone to receive certain emotions from the reader, as well as definite reactions. I believe this is one writing tool with which I need to work more in my own writing.